looking at him

choywaihung.
period.

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Pretty to see, difficult to catch.

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*Something I wrote right before I came back Ipoh. Right before I was burning with hate. Good to read this knowing it calms me down. 18/07/2015 0520 Still unable to fall asleep, so I decide to type something out because I am feeling like it. Was home last night, and my brother decided to have some relationship talk with me. That was pretty awkward, the lil girl finally grew up to the point when it is sort of time for this talk. Talk about papa, talk about mommy, talk about him. Brother said a whole lot, with me pseudo listening at some point. But what caught me was when he told me how He would never let you walk down the wrong path. When you're walking down a path that was not meant for you at that time, He will hold you back and steer you in another direction. It might seem to be a hindering of some sort, an obstacle obstructing you from going further. But what you did not realize is that He is the one guiding you to a another path. I broke down at that. I though...
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Filled with love.

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09/06/2015 Twenty-one. I did not expect it to happen to me. Fate decided to grant me this out of all the things that could have possibly happened. No words could describe how I felt at that very moment. That sight through the crack of the door showed me what I did not want to see, albeit the fact that I have half (or possibly wholly) believed it would turn out that way. Everything stopped. Just for that moment, I did not have anyone. Not even you. Your hugs. Your comfort. All I had was me and every part of my breathing self. Every single cell in my breathing body. A thousand, no, a million thoughts ran through my numbed mind. But the only thing loud and clear to me was, I have it. And I also don't. In the blink of an eye, there is so much responsibility that I could immediately assume. Even for the scarce period I had, I did what I could. I tried carrying out the responsibilities that was just purely natural to me. All because it was my doing, my action, my fau...
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The Jar.

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