DOLCE VITA : THE SWEET LIFE

29/06/2015 A little girl sees something new for the first time. She is mesmerized, she is curious, she is doubtful. A little girl learns something new and performs a new 'trick'. The people around fawns over her and showers her with claps, cheers, just for her. She does it again, just so she can elicit the same response. And it goes on and on and on. Have we not always been taught to learn and show to garner attention? Has it not always been this way where we do something for someone else? I think that is usually the case most of the time.  Most of my time. "Was it because your dad left so there is a need to for you to grow up and become not dependent...?" *dingding moment in Counselling role play practice* Fifteen years and counting, it still felt the same way. I try to be something for someone else. I do something for people to stick around. I become independent and strong, because I do not want to be a burden. I learn to shut

26/06/2015 Four weeks ago. What do you see when you look at me? You said you see me as a friend. And I was thinking, how could we be like friends when we never actually were those few months ago. Is  it possible to revert back to something we were after we lost what we had? Of course. The only problem is, we have nothing to go back to. What do I see when I look at you? I see someone I completely have no idea about. You are a stranger who is all but familiar to me. You are now someone who bears the same name with all the tiny old habits. And you are a silhouette walking towards the light leaving me behind in the shadows. Funny. You were never my cup of tea. I was never your cup of tea. We decided to give each other a shot. We know we can stay if we liked what we tasted. We know we can stray off if we did not. But what you did not tell me was what would happen, if only one became the other's cup of tea. You became my cup of tea. I

09/06/2015 Twenty-one. I did not expect it to happen to me. Fate decided to grant me this out of all the things that could have possibly happened. No words could describe how I felt at that very moment. That sight through the crack of the door showed me what I did not want to see, albeit the fact that I have half (or possibly wholly) believed it would turn out that way. Everything stopped. Just for that moment, I did not have anyone. Not even you. Your hugs. Your comfort. All I had was me and every part of my breathing self. Every single cell in my breathing body. A thousand, no, a million thoughts ran through my numbed mind. But the only thing loud and clear to me was, I have it. And I also don't. In the blink of an eye, there is so much responsibility that I could immediately assume. Even for the scarce period I had, I did what I could. I tried carrying out the responsibilities that was just purely natural to me. All because it was my doing, my action, my fau