DOLCE VITA : THE SWEET LIFE

(06/11/2011) The first thing Choo told me when she briefed me for this camp a few days back was; "OK, first, bring alot alot alot alot alot of dry food." *jawdropstotheground* thehell? Started our journey at around 9.30am with all 10 of us, except for Chiang who couldnt make it last-minute. holding the 'au naturel' mosquito repelling plant. Drove all the way there and meet up with Pastor Jack before entering the settlement. Gees, we were wishing we had a Pajero like him. I mean cmon, pity Shassi's white Viva Elite. (Was in josh's car, a Sunny!) It went through much ups and downs (pun intended) after the tar road ended outside the settlement. As if dirt road was not bad enough, there were massive potholes and what, stone covered roads in the middle of the journey. Phewwww. Took us an half an hour till we reach the spot to cross the bridge (If you Googled, you'll know how scary it looks.) and half an hour more to reach the midd...

(24/11/2011) Mr Palan said something that goes roughly like this; "I dont hope for all of you to change after what i said, but i only hope for 10% of all of you guys here to really get and practice what we've learned today. And 10% is only 7 out of 74 of you all here." It was actually, heart breaking. To know how some actually thought that LTC was, in fact, a pure waste of time. And all this and all that. Sigh. But then i remembered what Mr. Palan said. And i thought to myself, Why focus on that 1% or 10% of them who didnt appreciate LTC, instead of the huge 99% or 90% prefects who had a great time, and actually comprehended the message behind LTC? Whatever it was, at least i knew those who really cared for this big, big family and actually is part of the family, and even some coming from the ones i least expected. In fact, i began to realise, the board is actually a tiny replica of how the corporations of the outside world is. How there will always b...

(23/11/2011) LTC. it wasnt the best, it wasnt perfect, it had flaws, it had mistakes, it has its share of ups and downs, but i still thank God that there was definitely an outcome. DAY 1. getting screwed by the end of the day wasnt the best thing that could happen, especially when it is something that concerns our responsibility and credibility. getting the screwing in a way that wasnt so like-able or acceptable by everyone is making things even worser. and FINALLY getting the screwing when the problem has been there all the while, i actually think that well, yeah, at least it's being brought up, although in such a way. but it has to, like sooner or later. and it finally did. and heck, my first breakdown for prefectorial board. sighs. Day 2. pretty tensed up when the Big Boss is around. but yeah, just chill down and absorb what today's speaker, Mr. Palan, has to say. The moment he said, "Begin with an end in mind", im like "HEY!". ...

(01/11/2011) Left my Halloween post at an "unfinished" status. i forgot what i else i was gonna write. it's okay. it's just the same for every other posts, when the mind gets so active at night and starts constructing line after line, when the frustration, the hyperness gets hijacked and bubbled wayyyy up, AND i dont type it in my draft, i just forget everything the next day. It's good in a way i guess, you dont keep the vengeance or the grudge or whatever thats bugging you overnight. Nice. period.

(01/11/2011) When they say that we know whats best for ourselves, they werent kidding. When a menopausal woman comes into conflict with a pms lady, the former will keep talking shiz and the latter will either talk back, or she'll walk away while mimicking the other's talking-shiz-mode face. *and lots of rolled eyes thrown in, no doubt. Females. *shrugs. Best not to ignite them atm, fellas. period.

(31/10/11) -Halloween. In the very beginning, there was still worry. Worry that it would break someone, worry about the blow it'll impact on the individual. Ironically, i remember it was the birthday, and also the day the one i was waiting for is coming home. The very same day, when i decide to make clear cut with my decision. In fact, i realized that the decision has been made long ago. Looking back, it was obvious. The only thing that kept me from realizing was myself, for i wished of nothing but the best for other people. For them to be not upset by me. She was right, it is always others before myself. Them before me. I wonder if there ever will be a day when i would be thoroughly selfish, or maybe just really love myself more than anything. Just like what mum said, "Learn to love yourself more before loving anyone else." True. So very true. unfinished. period.

19/10/2011 i really want to know what will happen if i pop a sulpiride tablet in right now. can i wake up to go to school for chemistry? cus i think i bloody need that tablet in me. like now. fuck. what on earth is wrong with me. i was never like this. i am not me anymore. like hahaha when was the last time i truly felt happy for myself again? months ago man. cmon. i never cry for exams. i did. i never cry to my brother. i did. i never want to just sleep and not care whats gonna happen tmr. i did. and not to mention feeling like utter bullshit waking up with half the day gone. i did. i never memorise biofacts like shit and still able to ask "what on earth is protein synthesis"; never occured to me that that was exactly what i was reading the whole time; and threw 15 marks away. i did. i could never sincerely literally seriously felt more stupid ever. i did. and i really considered going back to sleep and sleep again tmr during chemistry. if miss chemistry asks, i'll say i...