Pretty to see, difficult to catch.

*Something I wrote right before I came back Ipoh. Right before I was burning with hate.
Good to read this knowing it calms me down.

18/07/2015

0520
Still unable to fall asleep, so I decide to type something out because I am feeling like it.
Was home last night, and my brother decided to have some relationship talk with me.
That was pretty awkward, the lil girl finally grew up to the point when it is sort of time for this talk.
Talk about papa, talk about mommy, talk about him.

Brother said a whole lot, with me pseudo listening at some point.
But what caught me was when he told me how He would never let you walk down the wrong path.
When you're walking down a path that was not meant for you at that time, He will hold you back and steer you in another direction.
It might seem to be a hindering of some sort, an obstacle obstructing you from going further.
But what you did not realize is that He is the one guiding you to a another path.

I broke down at that.

I thought of all the paths I went through.
All the ones where I thought I did not reach the end of.
All the decisions that I had to make because I did not have a choice.
All the decisions I made that steered me in a different direction.
All the unfulfilled choices that I never got to and felt upset about.
The remorse, regret.
There is a silver lining behind every cloud;
He always has better plans for  us.

I have never seen it that way, and perhaps I should now.
All that has never meant to be, will never be.
All that has been, is for me to take and for me to continue on as a better person, a better follower, and also a better leader.
This is the path that I should and I will continue on.
The future is mine to carve out, but I need to believe that things happen for a reason.
And that reason, is for a better today.
I was never holy, but I believe when I feel it.




"Let go, let God."
period.

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