notes after notes.

06/07/11
and it's still never ending.

period.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

me.

Image
29/06/2015 A little girl sees something new for the first time. She is mesmerized, she is curious, she is doubtful. A little girl learns something new and performs a new 'trick'. The people around fawns over her and showers her with claps, cheers, just for her. She does it again, just so she can elicit the same response. And it goes on and on and on. Have we not always been taught to learn and show to garner attention? Has it not always been this way where we do something for someone else? I think that is usually the case most of the time.  Most of my time. "Was it because your dad left so there is a need to for you to grow up and become not dependent...?" *dingding moment in Counselling role play practice* Fifteen years and counting, it still felt the same way. I try to be something for someone else. I do something for people to stick around. I become independent and strong, because I do not want to be a burden. I learn to shut...
Read more

tan.

Image
16/06/2020 i fell in love. you fell out first. on our last morning, i said my heart hurts. you said yours too. /but it is different. the final tie to the dead knot was not because of the many attempts in tying. it was simply because the string has been left loose. i was tugging at nothing, pulling everything slowly back to myself. /i know. on our last car ride, we held hands. i said everything is going to be okay. we are going to be okay. there was an atmosphere around us, hopeful of possible regret. eventually we would be okay- but my seat was already tainted. /i knew. and just shy of fourteen days, you said no more. i am not wanted anymore. and two days later i returned, my bunny already placed out of your vision, your earrings discarded away. it was a cold room, so unfamiliarly strange. the only warm thing, were the silent tears on my face and the other mothers in the house. i could not recall what i came for anymore. your room has not ...
Read more

Volatile.

Image
11/02/2016 I have always been like a widespread ocean. I can be calm, serene, and at peace, but when the waves hit, it is always a rough tide. The rocking waves are just like my emotions, it hits hard and it is unforgiving. I either ride along the waves,  head high up and spiral downwards; or just crash and submerge underwater. I get lost drowning in the feeling of everything all at once. But I hate giving up. I hate submitting myself to forces that are greater than me. I hate to not be in control. I hate when things refuse to go my way. I am stubborn as fuck, I am merciless when I cannot achieve what I want. I have a heart, one that is so big and full. I have a heart, one that cares relentlessly. I have a heart, one that can be void and be emptied. I have a heart, one that would replenish, still, time after time. I have a heart, one that I know will eventually be the death (or hopefully the life) of me. I have a heart, and that is my...
Read more